they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
