Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
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i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
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By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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