Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
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