I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
