dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
