So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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