my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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