we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
