I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
