3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
