did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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