You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
