yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Even my vagina gasped.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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