Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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