What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
