One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
