I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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