Jerry, you need to find god
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
