This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
