I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
