I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
