Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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