hell yes lets make some ravioli
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
