yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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