"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize