i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
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Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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