Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
