I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Randomize
