I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
it glows. i had to have it.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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