found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
wanna go halves on a baby?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
