In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize