yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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