I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
