oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
