Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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