today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
