Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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