I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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