I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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