Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Randomize
