Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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