i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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