Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
