Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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