Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
