i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
