I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
