Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
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