the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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