I should be sponsored by Trojan
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
