wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
