i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
