3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
