i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize