A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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